Hello everyone! First of all, I just want to thank you for being wonderful and supportive! I have been overwhelmed with how excited and encouraging all of the people we have been telling are for us. This has made the biggest and scariest decision of our lives (except maybe getting married) easier and more exciting than scary, because we know that we are not alone in our joy and we won't be alone in our challenges. Bless you all.
I know we haven't been very good bloggers, but we know this is a process that is rather unknown to anyone that hasn't gone through it themselves, so we are resolved to do better and keep you in the loop. The next step (after making the initial decision) for us is to choose an adoption agency. Many of our LDS friends will wonder why we're not using LDS Family Services. The main reason is that they don't generally work with children in foster care, and the second is that they almost exclusively dealing with infant only/non-sibling group adoptions. This is a wonderful service for families wanting to adopt one infant, and for young birth parents who want to find committed, loving parents for their children, but we feel so strongly about adopting a sibling group from foster care, that we need to find a different agency.
Last night we went to an orientation meeting held by the Foster and Adoptive Council of Tucson (FACT). They gave an overview of the crisis-level situation of children in the foster system in Pima County, and then had representatives from all the major agencies in the county to talk with. I know that fostering and adoption is a very, very personal decision, but I want to put my voice out for the children in Pima County. I don't think most people know how bad it is. There are about 3,500 kids in the foster system, and only about 750 available foster homes. Many, many children are living in group homes with staff instead of parents. Many are teenagers or sibling groups. Siblings are often split up, causing additional trauma in their young lives. It is truly tragic. I am so grateful we are in a position to do something about it.
In any event, we spoke primarily with two agencies - A Place to Call Home and La Paloma. We've yet to decide about either of them, but we got a lot of information (hence the sleepless night I mentioned on facebook:). The process is this - both agencies run a series of classes to complete the required 30 hours of training to license, and both will complete the home study process during the course of the classes, so that the whole licensing process takes only 3-4 months. Ah! That was a lot less than I expected, which was kind of overwhelming, but exciting. We will probably not foster during the next school year (although we could), but we are looking at providing respite (a temporary care of a few days) for other foster parents. Foster parents can't just leave their foster children with a baby-sitter. Since their kids are technically under the guardianship of CPS, anyone who watches them needs to be a certified respite care provider. That will be us. In this way, we're hoping to potentially come in contact with the children we feel are meant to be a part of our family, and be able to take them when/if it looks like parental severance is going to happen (when the birth parents' rights are terminated and they become legally free to adopt). We are, as you may have guessed, looking at doing foster-to-adopt. This way we will get to know the children before we commit to adopt them, and they will get to know us. It may make the process take a bit longer, but both women we talked to seemed pretty confident that they can tell situations that are likely to go to severance, and can help place children with us who are unlikely to go back to their birth parents. There is no risk-free situation, however. Even children legally free for adoption can have extended family step forward during the adoption process that have priority. This, as you might guess, is a terrifying prospect for us both, but it is a risk we are coming to terms with taking.
Well, that's the news from Lake Woebegone! Thanks again for being such an awesome circle of family and friends. We are truly blessed.
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2 comments:
I am so excited for you guys. Sounds like this will be an interesting experience for you and I hope you find your kids. I'm sure there are some children out there that are meant to be in your family. Good luck! Someday I may be asking you a ton of questions since this is something I really want to do in the future as well.
Hey Kelsey and Brent. Just wanted to say how awesome and amazing I think all this is. Adoption is a miracle, and the children who come to your home will be so blessed (as well as you!). I don't know if you knew that our ward had 2 families who both adopted from the foster care system, plus another family who fostered...all in the past 2-3 years. I think our ward is really supportive of this, and I hope you feel the love!! Again, just so excited as you embark on this life changing and beautiful experience. Hugs, Juliet
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